Here’s How You Can Become A College Poet In Less Than 5 Minutes

The title was supposed to be “How To Write A Poem In 2017 For The Sociopolitically Correct Hipster Tumblr Generation” but it was too long for good SEO.

Moving on to the mini-guide on Discount Poetry:

Step 1: Make a list of your favourite words, words that you want to include in the poem

 

fire      suffer      alone      body      heart
storm      soul      love      pain      leave
communist manifesto

 

Source: Giphy

Step 2: The list will usually point towards a few themes. Decide what theme you want to work on

This list looks like it would work as a poem around the theme of love and anguish.

Source: Giphy

Step 3: Insert pronouns and other fillers between the words you wrote

in the fire of my suffering, my body and heart were a storm. your love was pain until you left
with my only copy of the communist manifesto.

Step 4: Now that you have the basic poem ready in prose from, all you gotta do is just, like, press enter between random words (thanks Rupi Kaur)

in the fire
of my suffering, my body
and heart were a storm
but your love was
pain until you left
with my only
copy
of the communist
manifesto

There you go. Make sure you remove most of the punctuation, because fuck grammar. Only keep the most necessary commas.

Source: Giphy

Step 5: Read it and feel free to mold the poem as you see fit

For e.g. it can be argued that the words communist manifesto could be swapped with a more appropriate set:

in the fire
of my suffering, my body
and heart were a storm
but your love was
pain until you left
our life in the rubble

Or some shit like that.

So being a social media poet as you can see, is a piece of cake.

Use this tactic to come up with cornball meaningless bullshit to complement your Instagram updates. If we all try hard enough, we can bastardize the art of writing. Cheers.

Source: Giphy

Write your 5-minute hipster poem in the comments or post it on Twitter with the hashtag #SorryManto so I can see it and laugh at the sheer ridiculousness of, like, everything.

Note: Since this is a piece of satire, try not taking it, or yourself, too seriously.


Cover Image Via: www.mantothefilm.com