This article has been written with the intention of making you laugh. Pliss don’t take too seriously!
It’s been a long time since there’s been newsworthy drama between universities. The last conflict was when LUMS bachay were upset that the Prosidunt was invited to their convocation. And that was ages ago. So let’s rank, with no particular proper procedure, ALL paki universities.
Why? Because fuck your dreamz.
(yes dreams with a z)
Good job IBA. You got the 1st spot. IBA has had fewer controversial happenings than LUMS but to be fair it’s overall mostly good. Brownie points for banning smoking. Great work IBA.
Not bad. Runner-up. Barely missed the first spot but who cares. It’s my list. Nice scenery. Too bad it takes up, like, all of Islamabad.
Fair attempt at being an art school for a paki uni. Tries too hard but who doesn’t. SoOOOOooOOOOooooOOOoooo!!!! EDGY. Is Gemini of universities. Needs to shut up. I don’t know why I ranked this 3rd. Slowly regretting it while realization sets in that I hate (envy) NCA.
Not too shabby. Fairly halal. Is middle child of universities i.e. no one cares if it’s there or not.
2, 4, 6, 8 who do we appreciate. FAST is fine I guess. It does it’s own thing, whatever the thing is. Fails its students which is a bit extra but fun. What a fun place, what a lad.
6th place is just fine. GIKI is a bit geeky which is mostly always a good thing. Nice work GIKI. Being semi-chic as an engineering uni is hard but you did it. Somewhat. 6th place is not too bad, not too good. Better luck next time.
LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. If you’re a dumbass go to CBM for an easy 4.0 and 0 job prospects.
8. Karachi University
8th position for Kay-You. KU is a national treasure. Shoutout to KU for persisting against the peer pressure of submitting to innovation. Gotta love persistence.
9. Aga Khan
I don’t know. It’s just there in all its expensiveass red-brick glory. Oh wait sounds like LUMS lmaooo.
This random uni is only in the list to make it (the list) longer. I mean, fucking hell, if the uni logo font reminds you of Comic Sans MS what you gonna do.
Worst. Simply awful. The trump of universities. The feminist who believes in social media activism is more important than actual contribution to the movement. Self-indulgent mother. Corporate slave father. Is extra af but pretends it’s not. Does drugs to stifle daddy issues.
Glad I did the rankings. So this is how good our parents feel when they compare us to other people. 10/10 would recommend doing this. Awesome.
Cover Photo Courtesy: LUMUN