When the time come to choose a university, pay heed kids. It’s crucial to make the right decision (no shit, Khadija) for so many reasons, not the least of them being the fact that your university becomes your identity. The instant people find out what university you go to, they refer to their Preconceived Notions: University Edition™, and bombard you with a string of questions. And suddenly, you’re left wishing you had printed out FAQs that you could hand out to people, because honestly, it’s the same questions, over and over again. So, for the sake of my dear LSE bachas, I present to you a list of stuff LSE Students are SO tired of hearing. Please stop asking us this. Please.
1. ‘Oh, LSE! Lahore wala ya London wala?’
I mean, you ask this as if you HAVEN’T seen me buying pizza at Jalal Sons everyday for the past six months. While their pizza is a beautiful magical wonderful thing, I highly doubt that its reason enough to fly from London to Lahore every weekend. Pls. Don’t do da sprinkling of da salt in ma wound. Mein bhi insaan hu, mujhay bhi London pasand hai 🙁
2. ‘I thought you got into LUMS?‘
Wow, I thought you were polite, but I guess the more you know ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ While it’s really none of your business why I didn’t end up going to LUMS despite getting in, I’ll tell you a few good reasons not to ask people this; you don’t know their grades, finances or preferences. If someone didn’t tell you why they chose one university over another, it’s probably because you’re not that close, or that they didn’t want to tell you. You should respect their privacy and move the fuck on.
3. ‘LSE toh sirf LUMS rejects jaatey hain.’
Very common (and rude) misconception. I know loads of people who’s first choice was LSE. I know people who didn’t apply anywhere else (yes, that’s right, not even LUMS). There’s even kids who turned down LUMS, who turned down IBA, who turned down Med School to come to LSE. Y’all need to stop with these assumptions that only serve to make people feel bad about themselves.
4. ‘Lahore School for Everyone’
Sigh. These abbreviations aimed to insult are so 2007. Can we please grow up and get past the ‘Lahore Gutter Supply’, ‘Bakra Stinky School’ and ‘Toilet Cleaning Service’ days? What purpose do you intend to serve by calling an educational institute this? I’m so tired of hearing this. Pls refer to the above post and read the bit about making people feel bad. And maybe read this post too. We all need to start being nicer and less judgmental please.
5. ‘LSE mein toh koi parhai nahi hoti na?’
Haan, poora din beth kar professors ke saath Youtube par ‘cat videos’ dekhtay hain bass. How tf can you assume that a university has no parhai? I’d like you to tell that to the six 40% projects I have all due by the end of the same week. Also, you do realize, that by assuming that our university has no real education, and that we don’t work, you’re completely devaluing the hard work that a lot of us put in. Every time you say that, an LSEite with a 4.0 GPA dies a little bit inside. You’re basically telling them that all their hard work means nothing, and that just really sucks. Just think about that next time, before you end up killing all my friends.
6. ‘LSE is a party school’
Uhh, acha? Then how do you explain the fact that I haven’t seen/been to A SINGLE PARTY in my two years here?? (I realize that one explanation is that I’m a big loser, but let’s ignore that one for now.) Honestly, this one irks me the most, because I was genuinely expecting a chill mahol, with virtually no workload, but boyyy was I wrong 🙂 🙂
There. Is. So. Much. Parhai. And so little party. Actually zero party. Where’s the party at man? No, this isn’t rhetoric, this is me, a probable loser, asking you, also a probable loser, to point me to the nearest party please. Because God knows I need a little party after typing five 4000-word essays.
7. ‘Everybody in LSE is a druggie.’
LOOOOL. That’s just hilarious. I mean sure, I’m sure it’s got its fair share of people who dabble in drugs, and that’s fine, because there isn’t one university here that doesn’t. We have as many recreational drug users (druggers, if you will), as the next university. We also have people that probably can’t tell weed from regular grass. But no way is EVERYBODY in LSE a druggie. Half of my class would probably laugh at you if you said this to them. The other half would offer you a blunt.
8. ‘Sorry jee, LSE ko koi Student Discount nahi hai.’
Not technically a question, but boy am I tired of hearing this every time I go outside to eat. All I want in life, is for me to get a discount on my LSE card :/ Okay so maybe that’s not ALL I want, but it’s definitely one of the things I want. I want cheaper food, dammit 🙁
9. ‘Wait, can’t you guys choose your own courses?’
Sadly, no, we can’t. We choose our majors and our minors, and then we’re given a list of courses that we’ll be studying. Nothing is optional, you can’t choose a random course that isn’t part of your degree program.
10. ‘Outsiders kyun nahi allowed university mein??‘
Pata nahi bhai, no clue. I wish we knew the answer to this also, but sadly we don’t and hence, you can’t sit with us. (Literally tho.)
11. ‘LSE ki admin itni strict kyun hai?’
The day you find the answer to this, please, send me a postcard. I’d love to know myself, tbh.
I’m not opposed to answering your questions, God knows I love attention, and particularly enjoy talking about myself. But c’mon, if your questions are gonna be THIS unoriginal, rude and presumptuous, then honestly, I’d rather not talk. Here’s to original questions that won’t end up in LSE students being arrested for homicide!