In this Baaghi column, a difficult conversation about abusive relationships in a broken home must take place. You can also send in your queries to firstname.lastname@example.org
If YOU’s psychologically unstable Joe can love Beck, then someone sane should offer way more.
Haan bol do, Baaghi this is reality, step out of your fantasy. But why? You have one life, don’t sacrifice your fantasy for someone who’s failing your worth! Alexa, play Khalid’s “You Don’t Know Your Worth.”
Now, let’s dig into your dilemma. Do you think you judge yourself for your abusive family and broken home? It’s okay if you do. But maybe it’s what’s causing you to double guess opening up. Is kay peechay ek looking glass theory hai (haan haan nerdy Baaghi has entered the chat): I am not what I think I am, I am not what you think I am. I am what I think you think I am.
Here’s what you can consider: kaho. I know it’s easier preached than practised but ziyada se ziyada kya hoga? He’ll leave you. Why stay with someone who defines you using your broken home? You are more than that: you are you and if the love of your life begs to differ, then this person isn’t the love of your life, to begin with!
Or you can keep it a secret, but they’ll find out and maybe label you a liar – which isn’t fair. To be honest, hum kahan kay sachay thay? But honesty is crucial to any relationship so this is not ideal.
If the two above appear too extreme, try this: tell but don’t tell: batao but sab kuch nahi. Yes, abuse is abuse, but try revealing that which hurts the least first. If this fails, then try couples’ therapy, provided that your significant other really wants to make things work.
But more importantly, try working on your ideology. Apas ki baat hai, if abuse isn’t in your hands, then how can you and why should you shoulder the blame?
If you missed out on our previous column about a woman asking for her husband to use contraception instead of her taking the pill, click here to read.
Cover image via Video Hive